All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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