Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
