as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
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