Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
