i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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