after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
