I faked an abortion last night.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
