Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
