the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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