meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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