WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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