omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He is an equal opportunity slut.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
