The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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