This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
