His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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