You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
