soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize