Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
