Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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