Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
