Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
