I am in a vortex of obligation.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
