I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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