On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Randomize
