How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
