don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
