so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
