I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
