Pregnant stripper...not hot.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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