You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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