Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
