im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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