you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
What drink are we having for lunch?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
don't judge my taste in strippers
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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