I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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