i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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