I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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