took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
