I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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