Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
