i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
