Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
