Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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