I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
