Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
