I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
