The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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