I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
