i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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