Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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