The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize