"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
