I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
