every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize