Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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