but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
