weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
