why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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