I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
50% drunk capacity currently
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize