We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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