Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
