hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
