His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
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I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
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Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?