i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.