Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
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I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
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I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart