dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
