Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Actions speak louder than pants.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
